How to Help Your Teen Cope with Back to School Anxiety: A Guide for Parents
As summer winds down, many families are making lists, shopping for supplies, and preparing for the school year ahead. But for some parents, back-to-school season doesn’t just bring excitement—it brings dread. If you’re parenting a teen who struggles with back to school anxiety, you’re not alone. For some adolescents, school isn’t just a stressor—it’s a source of deep emotional distress that can impact their mental health, academic performance, and family life.
In this post, we’ll help you understand the different types of anxiety that can show up in school settings, how to recognize signs of back to school anxiety, and what practical steps you can take to support your child—including when it might be time to seek professional help.
What Is Back to School Anxiety?
Back to school anxiety is more than just nerves on the first day. While many students feel butterflies in their stomach before heading back, for others, the anxiety can be intense, persistent, and debilitating. Teens with back to school anxiety may begin worrying weeks before school starts—or experience a sudden emotional crash after a few days of trying to attend.
Anxiety can manifest in many ways, and often not in the ways adults expect. Teens might not say "I'm anxious." Instead, they might:
Complain of physical symptoms, like stomach aches, headaches, or fatigue.
Seem irritable, oppositional, or angry.
Refuse to go to school altogether—sometimes escalating into school refusal.
Express worries that spiral into catastrophizing (“What if I fail this test and never graduate?”).
Regress in behaviors or sleep patterns.
Understanding what kind of anxiety your child is experiencing can help you respond with the right kind of support.
Types of Anxiety Related to School
Social Anxiety
Teens with social anxiety often worry excessively about being judged, embarrassed, or rejected by peers or teachers. They might avoid participating in class, eating in the cafeteria, or even going to school altogether.
What it can look like:
Fear of group projects or presentations.
Intense distress over making friends or navigating peer dynamics.
Avoidance of school dances, clubs, or lunchrooms.
Performance Anxiety
Performance anxiety often shows up as fear of failure or making mistakes. These teens may be perfectionists or overachievers who tie their self-worth to academic success.
What it can look like:
Meltdowns before tests or assignments.
Staying up all night to study.
Avoiding tasks they fear they can’t do perfectly.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
OCD can also drive back to school anxiety. Teens with OCD may have compulsions around germs, order, numbers, or rituals that interfere with their ability to attend or engage at school.
What it can look like:
Taking too long to get ready in the morning due to rituals.
Refusing to touch items at school.
Excessive handwashing or checking behaviors.
Avoiding certain scenarios where they know their compulsions will be triggered.
Generalized Anxiety
Some teens don’t fit neatly into one category but experience chronic worry about a wide range of school-related (and life) topics.
What it can look like:
Difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
Asking repeated "what if" questions.
Frequent reassurance seeking.
When Anxiety Turns Into School Refusal
All kids will occasionally complain about school, but school refusal is something different. It's a persistent pattern where a student refuses to go to school due to emotional distress. According to the School Avoidance Alliance, school refusal isn't about defiance—it's about fear.
Signs of school refusal may include:
Ongoing physical complaints that resolve on weekends or holidays.
Frequent tardiness or early dismissals.
Crying, panic, or meltdowns in the morning.
Missing several days or weeks of school in a row.
It’s important to distinguish between normal back to school anxiety and full school refusal. If your teen’s distress lasts more than a couple of weeks, or if they are unable to attend school regularly, it’s time to intervene.
How Parents Can Help
1. Start the Conversation Early
Begin talking about school well before the first day. Ask open-ended questions like:
“How are you feeling about going back to school?”
“What parts are you excited about, and what parts feel hard?”
Normalize their feelings without jumping to solutions. Sometimes teens need to feel heard before they’re ready to plan.
2. Talk to the School
Reach out to your child’s school counselor, teacher, or case manager before the year begins. Share what your teen has been struggling with and ask for their input on how the school can support them. Consider asking about:
A slow reintegration plan (e.g., half-days to start).
Permission to take breaks in the counseling office.
Academic accommodations or flexibility.
3. Explore IEP or 504 Plan Options
If your child’s anxiety significantly interferes with their learning, they may qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 Plan. These legal documents can help ensure your teen receives necessary accommodations like extended test time, reduced homework, or access to mental health support at school.
You may also want to pursue neuropsychological testing to better understand your child’s needs and learning profile. Sometimes undiagnosed issues such as ADHD or Autism can cause teens to avoid school because they don’t understand why they seem to be struggling so much compared to their peers.
4. Create Predictable Routines
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty. Establishing predictable daily routines around sleep, meals, homework, and screen time can help teens feel more grounded. Involve them in building a back-to-school routine so they have some sense of control.
5. Use Exposure Strategies
Gradual exposure to feared situations can be an effective tool. For example:
Visit the school building a few times before the first day.
Practice walking to class or finding their locker.
Role-play social situations they’re worried about.
Start small and celebrate small wins.
6. Seek Professional Help When Needed
If your teen’s back to school anxiety is causing panic attacks, frequent absences, or significant emotional distress, it’s time to reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy can help teens learn coping skills, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and rebuild confidence.
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek help—early intervention often leads to better outcomes.
Lessons from Other Parents: You Are Not Alone
One parent, writing on schoolavoidance.org, shares:
“I thought that if I could just reason with my child or find the perfect solution, we’d be back to normal. But this isn’t about parenting harder—it’s about parenting differently.”
This parent's advice? Build a team. Communicate with school staff, therapists, doctors, and others who can help you create a plan. Focus on small steps. Celebrate progress, even if it’s just getting dressed and walking to the car.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
At Ballast Health and Wellness, we specialize in helping teens and families navigate back to school anxiety and the emotional challenges that come with academic pressure and social stress. We are also connected with professionals in the area who specialize in school refusal. Our therapists work collaboratively with students, parents, and schools to identify barriers, teach coping strategies, and support reintegration into the school environment—whether that’s public school, private school, or alternative education settings.
We understand how isolating and overwhelming this journey can feel. But with the right tools and support, your teen can get back to school and thrive.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation or learn more about our treatment of anxiety for adolescents and young adults.
